Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
