are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
