I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
