Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
