We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
