I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
