After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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