That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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