Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
