we have officially lost it.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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