I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize