i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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