all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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