So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
