at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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