How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
