I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
