Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
