we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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