I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
