Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize