She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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