I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
