I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
