Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
