I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize