So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
