I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
