This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize