Kiss
Puke
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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