Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I believe in your delicious
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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