someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize