But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
