"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
