i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
