I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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