he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize