If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
