i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
