I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
