I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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