did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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