i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
