Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
