we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
