Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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