there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
