I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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