Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
