Tell her she can't have a vagina
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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