Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize