last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
