Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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