literally had 100 drinks last night.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
