I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
