Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
