just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
