i dont even know how to be here
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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