What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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