i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
