So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
