I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
