I wish i was in the wii world.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
