If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
