we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
me + whiskey = a bad person
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
