Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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