Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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