..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize