i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
