so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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