Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
