my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
