UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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