Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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