Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
