just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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